There are three types of happiness – the happiness that comes from receiving and having things, the happiness that comes from giving and doing, and the happiness that comes from being, presence and connection. When we rely on the first as our main source of happiness we become needy and addictive. When we rely on the second we become energetic, caring, but stressed. When we rely on the third as the main foundation of our happiness then life can be a joy. It can also include the other ones as the presence and connection can lead us to meaningful action and to filling our life with good, satisfying things.

These three types of happiness also relate to the three kinds of connection – connection to self, to other, and to the infinite. A balanced fulfilled life depends on combining all three of these connections so that we are in harmony with ourselves, others and the universe. Spiritual traditions and different attitudes to life can be compared by looking at which of those connections they encourage. for example most conservative religious traditions are very focused on the infinite divine connection, but often at the detriment of connection to self – some of them promote connection to others, and some less so. The Atheist, materialistic attitude leads to a disconnection from the infinite, but in many cases goes along with a humanist concept that leads to connection to others and sometimes also to oneself. Ecstatic spiritual experiences of love are often based on deep connection to yourself and the divine, but not the other. Etc.

There are 7 layers of the mind that correspond to the 7 combinations of the three connections

  1. instinctive – connected only to self
  2. Religious – connected only to the infinite
  3. Rational – connected only to the other
  4. Creative – connected to self and the other
  5. Compassionate – connected to the infinite and the other
  6. Ecstatic – connected to self and the infinite
  7. Harmonious – connected to self, other and the infinite.

We are each free to choose which of these approaches to life we wish to choose and there are benefits to each one of them, however this website and my teachings are specifically focused on the triple connection and the harmonious approach to life. There are important reasons why I recommend this approach, but there are also particular challenges associated with it.

The harmonious approach is slow but complete transformation. It has the potential to resolve all our problems – happiness as well as relationships, as well as environment and politics and community etc. It takes us out of the realm of conflict and problems altogether to the realm where all challenges are opportunities for growth and more joy. But it takes some patience, and a lot of ongoing personal growth, a commitment to opening to the divine light and love and connection in all things. We cannot bring with us and hold onto our resentments and our fears, but must dive completely into love, peace and joy. If this is for you then read on. If not perhaps you can try another teacher who is focused on a different approach to life and a different level of the mind.

There are 2 main ways to approach spiritual growth through the levels of the mind – what people call awakening that leads to profound transformative joy. The one is self study – which depends on the power of awareness to transform yourself and deepen yourself in every way and at every stage. The second is Tantra – which is techniques that a master can teach you that will transform you – specific exercises or prayers or mantras that have a specific effect. This method is faster, but it requires a master that you trust to show you how it is done. I would recommend a combination of the two – finding your own way, but with some techniques to speed the process. This is what I try to offer here. One place you could start is my “open to love” course.

Basic Concepts

The One Key

There is one cause to most if not all of our problems – they can be categorised as different forms of disharmony, or disconnection. When we become in conflict with life and reality, then our life and our reality become difficult. When we come into harmony and connection with life and the world around us then life and our experience becomes easy and joyous. This one key has been described in many different words – harmony, connection, oneness etc. I will use the term connection because it is the one that people seem to find the easiest to understand.

The Triple Connection

There are three types of connection that need to be cultivated – connection with the self, connection with others, and connection with joy (or the divine or infinite). Any missing connection leads to a different kind of imbalance depending on which type or types of connection are missing.

Layers of the mind

There are 7 layers of the mind ranging from the most instinctive and physical to the most expansive and spiritual. Each one makes use of a different type of combination of connections – some layers are more connected to the self, others are more selfless and connected to others needs. The 7th layer of the mind the anandamaya kosha is connected in all directions. This is the one that leads to harmony in all areas of life.


Everything is love, and everything that anyone does comes out of a kind of love. The difference is in how expansive that love is. Some love only themselves, some love their family, and some love the whole universe and many somewhere in between, but that love casts a shadow – whatever you do not love is ignored and therefore can be treated badly. The goodness of a person is not how much they love, but how expansive that love is.

States of Consciousness

Each area of life, each challenge requires a different state of consciousness in order to be in harmony with it. A commercial kitchen requires energy and speed, a library requires quietness and thought. A martial artist needs to quick to respond, a mechanic needs to take their time to understand before they react. Each requires a different state of consciousness, and by cultivating the right state of consciousness that skill becomes easy to learn and you become effective in that area of life.

Spiritual Practice

Each state of consciousness leads to a particular kind of expression – a more aggressive state of consciousness might be show in particular harsher movements – think rappers and hip hop, and a gentler state of consciousness might lead to an expression more like ballet. If you copy the movements or expressions that come naturally out of a particular state of consciousness you can put yourself into that state of consciousness. In order to communicate about these different states of consciousness and to share them with others people have developed techniques and practices that encapsulate that state of consciousness through movements (eg. yoga, taichi) through words (mantra, prayers), through letters and symbols eg. (kabbalah, sacred geometry). They can be communicated and encapsulated in many forms – whatever the form, it is the state of consciousness that is the point of the exercise, and this can always be communicated in different ways. Religions are ways of teaching (hopefully effective) states of consciousness.

Being, Doing and Having

There are three levels of how we find happiness and meaning in our lives being, doing and having. Having is the easiest and most instinctive – give me a sweet, or some entertainment, or a toy or nice car and I will be happy (for a while). Doing takes a little more effort and leads to meaningful action, sports, business, and community service, the happiness that it brings is a little deeper and more lasting. Being leads to presence, meditation, transformation and wisdom, and it leads to the deepest happiness, but is often the last of the three for us to cultivate and get interested in. Effective action to make our lives and the world around us better always starts with being, with doing and action coming out of that presence, and sustainable wealth and abundance – having the end result.

Problem Solving

Whatever challenge or problem we are facing whether it is relationships, happiness, community building, the environment, economic wellbeing, politics – the only effective way to solve the problem is to first tackle being – bring ourselves into harmony and connection with the issue, then find actions that will maintain and strengthen that harmony and connection, and then later reap the rewards. Any actions done out of harmony will lead to a disharmonious result.

Compassionate Understanding

Everybody is doing their best to be a good person and to do good in the world. Any time that you find yourself blaming somebody or have an understanding of the situation that is not completely compassionate it means you didn’t fully understand and it also puts you in a weak position as a victim of circumstances beyond your control. To understand deeply and compassionately gives you the power to take wise effective action and transform the situation


When we can understand deeply then we can find solutions that are win win for all involved – to create synergy and directions that everyone can enthusiastically agree to. This is the beginning of effective action.

The impossible and the challenging

Do not confuse the impossible and the challenging. Creating enthusiastic agreement and synergy, finding exciting solutions that everyone can agree to is nearly always possible but challenging. Doing things in a way that might seem simpler but does not resolve all the issue, and lead to joy is often completely impossible because of people and their psychology.


Each of us has a specific energy centre that is dominant and when we focus our attention there it puts the rest of us in balance. The centre is in different places depending on the person – always one of chakras or energy centres down our centre line

Specific challenges

Each specific challenge or area of life requires the same sense of harmony and connection but a different state of consciousness. Out of that consciousness arises particular actions that can resolve that particular issue. You can find solutions to different challenges here in our material, in each case applying the basic principles of connection and then branching out into slightly different areas depending on the needs of that particular issue.